Effective communication is important in a marriage. In order to make plans, solve problems, address issues, and function well as a couple you have to communicate. Most couples have less than perfect communication and everybody could probably be better at communicating.
Couples argue about many things such as parenting, sex, togetherness, and extended family. The most common area of disagreement for couples is money. Over time, the constant fighting, arguing, and negativity can overwhelm the loving and caring that you once had.
The Evolution of Communication in Your Marriage
In the early stages of your relationship your communication may have been effortless. You may have felt like you and your partner could read each other’s minds and finish each other’s sentences. Or you and your spouse may have recognized communication problems early on but managed to create a loving relationship in spite of the problems.
But as the relationship progressed you may have noticed the communication degrading and a weaker connection between you and your partner. Life circumstances change, relationships change, or perhaps you have changed. Now you realize that communication problems are holding you back from having the satisfying and loving relationship that you want. Here are some of the common communication problems that you may be struggling with in your marriage:
- Small disagreements quickly escalate into big fights
- Frequent interrupting
- Dismissive or judgmental attitudes
- Holding back or feeling inhibited in what you say to your partner
- Not feeling heard or understood
- Giving in to what your partner wants to keep the peace
- Frequent arguments and misunderstandings
- Constant negativity and criticism
- Unfair fighting such as insults and personal attacks
- Walking on eggshells
- One person monopolizing the conversation
- Avoiding important issues
- Emotional withdrawal or the silent treatment
- Aggressive tone or body language
- Difficulty resolving problems
Good communication is a skill that you can learn. The way through blame, hurt, and resentment is by talking about it. We will address the communication problems that you have in your marriage and work together on giving you new tools to help you work together better as a couple and rebuild the connection you once had. Here some of the skills that you can learn in Marriage Counseling:
- Attentive listening
- How to repair and reconnect after a fight
- Collaboration and creative problem solving
- Understanding the root causes of conflict and taking responsibility for your part
- Expressing caring and empathy for each other
- Managing conflict effectively
- Reducing physical aggression by using words when you get angry or frustrated
- Asserting your needs and saying what you want
- Expressing your thoughts and feelings clearly and effectively
By improving your communication skills, you can work through issues in your marriage and solve problems together. Over time, as you and your spouse learn to communicate and collaborate better, you will find that feel more connected and closer to each other.
You can learn better communication skills that will help you feel more connected to your partner. I would like to help you work through the conflict in your marriage so you can have a more satisfying and happier relationship. Call me to find out more or to set up an initial consultation.